(The best part about how I first learned this word is that we were talking about boys and girls and relationships in class and one of my students said about somebody “checkin’ out her joints” and I was like, “You mean like her elbows??!!” and my students thought it was the funniest thing ever.)
Joint (n.) - a person you’re “talkin’ to” (flirting around with) and possibly even hooking up with, but who is definitely not your boyfriend/girlfriend. Synonyms: flow, sidepiece, friend-with-benefits.
There are some pretty clear cut rules for joints. You can have joints AND a boyfriend. But, you should be sure to put your joints “in their place” (make sure they know they’re just a joint, or as one student put it, “He just a Tuesday joint, he know he not a Wednesday joint!”) and they should know you have a boyfriend. It is acceptable to text your boyfriend while you’re with your joint, but it is NOT acceptable to text your joint while you’re with your boyfriend because he shouldn’t know about them. However, if you do it right, your joints are just people you’re talking to and therefore you’re not technically being unfaithful - so if your boyfriend finds out, you can tell them that you’re not cheating.
Student: “Wait, so you can use ‘and so on’ in an essay?”
Me: “Yes…”
Student: “So what’s the wrong way to use it, and a right way to use it?”
Me: “Well, the right way would be in the reading we just did. And, um, the wrong way…”
Student: “Like how I would use it, in an essay, if I was talking about Walmart I might be like, “They gyp people out they money because of this, that, and the third, and so on, and so on.”
Me: “Uhhhh no, you can’t write that in an essay… first of all, you wouldn’t need to say it twice…”
Student: “MISS, THAT’S WHY MY GRAMMA BAD!”
Hahahahahaha oh god.
///
(After I just said something about the terrible state of Somalia)
Student: “Why they always be going on about Somalia? What about Africa? We got all this money and we not be giving any to Africa!”
Me: “Ummm Somalia is in Africa…”
///
Me: “Does anybody know what anthropology is?” (in an attempt to teach the root “anthro”)
Student: “It’s the study of like… bones.”
Me: “Okay… whose bones?”
Student: “Like Neanderthals and hobbits and stuff.”
Hahahahaha
(This is the same student who has the “bad gramma” and she actually then went into an incredibly long and impressively detailed description of the early origins of humanity - including lots of things even I didn’t know!)
I mention something about a class we had last week.
Female student: “Was that the day you were wearing wedges and skinny jeans?”
Me: “Ummm… what? I don’t know?!”
…and
(During a class discussion about social inequality and class stratification)
Student: “That’s JUST like Mr. Crabs in Spongebob!”
…and
(After reading a statistic about the crime rate at topless bars vs. fast food restaurants)
Students (collectively): “What’s a topless bar?”
One student: “Is that like, a bar without a ceiling?”
(Mind you, these are all recent high school graduates)
(I guess I can still post here because I’m technically still teaching, for now.)
It’s the last day of school (and my last day as a teacher, really) so this blog will be more or less obsolete after today. Fortunately, my kids had some important last minute questions to ask me before the summer kicked off:
Student: “Miss, can you use a water balloon as a condom?”
My (straight male) student saw this fish on Blue Planet and said:
“Yo, he’s mad sexy. I’d kiss that nigga.”
…nope, not kidding.
One of my very clever students loves deliberately poking fun of his own language difficulties by making jokes out of words that sound similar to him. He has a very thick Dominican accent.
Student: “Miss! You need to calm down. You need an elevator.”
Me: “WHAT?”
Student: “You know, an elevator! You need to COME down.” (Calm, get it?)
Me: “Hahahahaha.”
Student: “You pick. Elevator or stairs.”
(Students talking about something being “inappropriate”)
Me: What’s ‘inappropriate’? (as in, what does it mean in this context)
Male student (shouts): VAGINA!
| Student: | u should be doing hw |
| Me: | no.. |
| Student: | yes |
| Me: | why |
| Student: | cuz u a teacher |
| Me: | hmm |
| Student: | u have to plan a lesson for us |
| Me: | yes.. i guess that means you don't want to watch the movie and you want to do work instead... |
| Student: | actually noooooo the movies better |
| Me: | no i think i'll go write a lesson plan, you had a really good idea. i'll be sure that all your classmates thank you personally when we do work instead of watch a movie |
| Student: | nooooooooooooooooooooooooo ms i liked that movie |
Student: “Miss, happy Mother’s Day!”
Me: “I’m not a mother.”
Student: “Yes you are, you’re like a mother to all of us.”
curve - to be put in one’s place; to have “your whole game shut down” (if you’re hitting on a girl and she flat out rejects you); as in, “You just got curved” or, “Yo, she curved you”
